Working out, dieting and losing weight. Fuck. Heavy topics tonight. Literally.
Background: I have struggled with my weight from the time I was a child. Too many carbs and too much amazing home cooking. My mom is a great cook who made a ton of delicious casseroles. Little did I know that those yummy jerks would come back to bite me in the ass. I didn't get to where I am now by hating food, that's for sure. And, to be honest, I haven't missed many meals. It shows. I tried (half-heartedly) to lose weight in middle school and in high school. It didn't work. In college, I moved to WI and was living in a hotel for two years. My kitchen consisted of a George Forman grill, a microwave, a crockpot and an illegal toaster. My mini fridge couldn't hold too many veggies and keep them consistently fresh and with the minimalist kitchen setup, healthy meals weren't an all the time option. But, I tried. I wasn't eating pizza every weekend and binge drinking at parties. Rather, I was trying to cook healthier option in the crockpot and on the grill. I tried. I graduated college, found an apartment, met a boy, lost a pants size (and then some) as I fell in love because of course I couldn't eat in front of him and he could only see me eat salads when I did eat. Then, I had a baby. The weight did not melt off as I breastfed and it certainly didn't help that Easter candy went on clearance shortly after little Jack was born.
Where I am now: I am overweight. It needs to change. I want to be around to torment and harass my children and grandchildren much the way my mother does for my siblings, my children and my nieces and nephews. I want to run and play and teach my children to live a healthy lifestyle. And, damnit, I want to be a vain 25 year old who looks good in her clothes and next fall, I want to be a beautiful bride in a pretty white dress and losing weight will only make that experience more enjoyable. So, I'm changing how we eat. Green veggies are served each night with dinner and EVERYONE has to (at a minimum) try them. I'm getting rid of the junk because if it's not in the house, then we can't eat it. We're working out-- I spent 45 minutes on the elliptical machine at the fitness center tonight and we went for a family walk on Monday night. Things have to change. It's for the best for everyone.
No, I'm not going to post pictures at this time. It's too scary. I have to show myself I can do this before I shame myself into further progress. It's a gross sweaty battle but I got myself in to this gross overweight hole and I'll get myself out one pound at a time.