04.24.2013

Working out, dieting and losing weight.  Fuck. Heavy topics tonight.  Literally.

Background: I have struggled with my weight from the time I was a child.  Too many carbs and too much amazing home cooking.  My mom is a great cook who made a ton of delicious casseroles.  Little did I know that those yummy jerks would come back to bite me in the ass.  I didn't get to where I am now by hating food, that's for sure.  And, to be honest, I haven't missed many meals.  It shows.  I tried (half-heartedly) to lose weight in middle school and in high school.  It didn't work.  In college, I moved to WI and was living in a hotel for two years.  My kitchen consisted of a George Forman grill, a microwave, a crockpot and an illegal toaster.  My mini fridge couldn't hold too many veggies and keep them consistently fresh and with the minimalist kitchen setup, healthy meals weren't an all the time option.  But, I tried.  I wasn't eating pizza every weekend and binge drinking at parties.  Rather, I was trying to cook healthier option in the crockpot and on the grill.  I tried.  I graduated college, found an apartment, met a boy, lost a pants size (and then some) as I fell in love because of course I couldn't eat in front of him and he could only see me eat salads when I did eat.  Then, I had a baby.  The weight did not melt off as I breastfed and it certainly didn't help that Easter candy went on clearance shortly after little Jack was born.

Where I am now: I am overweight.  It needs to change.  I want to be around to torment and harass my children and grandchildren much the way my mother does for my siblings, my children and my nieces and nephews.  I want to run and play and teach my children to live a healthy lifestyle.  And, damnit, I want to be a vain 25 year old who looks good in her clothes and next fall, I want to be a beautiful bride in a pretty white dress and losing weight will only make that experience more enjoyable.  So, I'm changing how we eat.  Green veggies are served each night with dinner and EVERYONE has to (at a minimum) try them.  I'm getting rid of the junk because if it's not in the house, then we can't eat it.  We're working out-- I spent 45 minutes on the elliptical machine at the fitness center tonight and we went for a family walk on Monday night. Things have to change.  It's for the best for everyone.

No, I'm not going to post pictures at this time.  It's too scary.  I have to show myself I can do this before I shame myself into further progress.  It's a gross sweaty battle but I got myself in to this gross overweight hole and I'll get myself out one pound at a time.

The Eating Habits of My Children

We'll start with Gabby because she's my biggest frustration when it comes to meal time.  She is 7 and she thinks that food comes in three food groups: sweets, mac & cheese and hot dogs.  Um, FALSE!  I have had an uphill battle to get her to try foods and find new things that she likes.  Part of the problem is that she was allowed to eat whatever she wanted before I came in to the picture.  That's not good.  Nana figures that if Gabby eats donuts and cookies, it's better than eating nothing.  Also, FALSE!  So, back to Gabby, she says she's a picky eater and can't eat this and can't eat that.  However, she'll eat hummus (which she calls peanut butter salsa stuff), salami and lasagna.  These are not picky eater foods.  The flavors and spices are entirely too powerful if you ask me.  But, we've been trying.  She has to eat a veggie with dinner and has to eat a fruit with her lunch and/or snack.  I know that's no where near the recommended daily serving of fruits and veggies but I'm trying.  I've gone as far as to hide vegetables (usually pureed) in her food-- ex. zucchini in brownies, cauliflower in mac and cheese.  I'm sneaky and it works.

The real reason I can't stand how Gabby eats?  It's because of how Jack eats.  He's a chowhound and will eat anything and everything (except white potatoes and bananas).  We took him out for his birthday and he ate crab legs for lunch.  He loves all fish: shrimp, crab, salmon, red snapper, cat fish.  He also loves veggies: beets and spinach in his applesauce, green beans, brown beans, black beans, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes. And, he likes fruits: apples, pears, mango, pineapple, blueberries.  It's amazing!

I thought for a while that if Gabby saw the praise that Jack was getting for eating so well that she'd want praise too.  I don't think she cares.  Our latest system is that Jack sits next to me at meals and eats off of my plate and Gabby has to have a smaller portion of what we're eating and then after she eats it, she can have PB&J, chicken nuggets, etc.  If anyone has any other suggestions, please send them my way.  Meal time is very frustrating at my house lately.

Pork chops and asparagus taken from his daddy's plate